It’s Time to INHALE, Everyone. My Twinsie’s Book is OUT!

Sweet cover, no?

There is someone on the internet so foul-mouthed and opinionated with a love of booze and wildly inappropriate statements that is absolutely hilarious and sarcastic and awesome in every way, and I’m not even talking about me. Oh, you didn’t think it was me as soon as I said “hilarious” and “awesome”. OK. Well. This is awkward.

*crickets*

Of course, I am talking about the incredible and amazing Kendall Grey. If you’ve not come across Kendall before, I highly recommend that you do so, right now, on Twitter or Facebook or at her blog. Be warned, though, that if you’re afraid of womancock, you might not want to, but if you’re up to it, you’ll be pleased. Take me at my ranty worst and turn it up to 11, and you’ve got a “good morning” post from Kendall. I heart her quite a lot.

Today’s a big day for her. I mean a HUGE fucking day for her. The first book in her paranormal romance (no, there are no gay-ass vampires in it, so don’t worry) trilogy, Inhale, is available for sale. I know how cool a day that is, how absolutely fraught with fear and excitement and nail-chewing insanity that comes along with the long-awaited release of a novel. I’m uber-psyched for her, because she is a phenomenal writer and someone that brings a completely irreverent and exuberant perspective on life.

I’ve Received an Award That Didn’t Come From Me!

It’s official. There are no blogs left that haven’t already received this particular award. Know why I know it? Because I’ve been given the award. Now, we can retire the prize for good, because if this shitty little corner of the Internet has gotten the award then clearly there was no one else left who hasn’t already gotten it. That’s right, folks, it’s official. I have received the Versatile Blogger Award. For everyone who said that my writing would amount to nothing, I say HA! You’re right. BUT… I have this award.

That’s right, bitches. Along with my numerous Aravan Awards, I’m now a Versatile Blogger.

NFL Week 5: NFC East Schadenfreude

The Redskins had their bye last week, which meant they couldn’t lose and I didn’t have to be angsty all day wondering whether they would or not. They even had a chance to grasp sole possession of first place in the East without having to do a damn thing. The prospect was pretty unlikely, however, since the Giants were playing host to the inept Seattle Seahawks and seemed a pretty sure lock to go to 4-1.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA – ahem, sorry.

Instead, under the Bad-Ass Quarterbacking Duo of 2011 – Tavaris Jackson and Charlie Whitehurst - the Seahawks became suddenly ept and upset the Giants, thanks to a bunch of turnovers. At the end, though, it looked like the Giants were going to pull it out. They got down to the Seahawk’s 10-yard-line down 5 and were moving the ball with ease. Eli Manning tossed the ball to Hero of the Day, Victor Cruz, who’d snagged a one-handed bobbled pass and turned it into a TD earlier in the game. Cruz bobbled it, started the one-hand grab thing, and then everything fell apart as a Seahawks’ defender grabbed the ball and raced back the other way for the game-sealing touchdown.

Funny thing was, it was the second time I saw that play that day.

Meet Rex Grossman, Starting QB for the Redskins

A lot of people have asked for my reaction to Donovan McNabb getting benched and Rex “Sex Cannon” Grossman getting the start against Dallas this week.  OK, a few people did.  Or one.  Fine, in actuality no one did.  But I am going to talk about it anyway.

My flip one-liner response that came to me right after I heard the news was this: Wow, I would care if it was still football season.

OK, So I Enjoyed That Game A Little Bit

After posting my Vick thoughts, spurred by the clamoring calls for Vick to be awarded the MVP trophy after 2 weeks of decent football amid a wash of adoring talk about how he’s overcome adversity – adversity caused by his enjoyment of torturing and killing dogs, but mostly just for betting on them – I really wanted the Redskins to beat the Eagles.  I mean, I hungered for it, craved it, but it took some time for me to believe they could do it.

Wow, Thanks Bob!

It’s very surreal to wake up, notice that you have a blog comment to approve (which happens, umm, relatively neverish for me), check your blog stats to see why, and get this:

Vinnie Cerrato Resigns

Holy shit.  I haven’t been that excited by a sports headline since “Redskins Rehire Joe Gibbs.”  Seriously.  Wow.  Dancing in the streets to commence.

Is it a sop to the fans?  Sure.  Is he being set up as the fall guy for Synder’s meddling?  Absolutely.  Do Redskins fans give a hit about that?  Fuck no.  Cerrato became the most reviled symbol of the lickspittle yes-man front office the ‘Skins have had in place since Gibbs left.  So what does it mean going forward?

3 Random Things That Make Me Happy

A semi-recurring post I have here is Three Minutes’ Hate, which is semi-recurring since I only seem to be able to semi-regularly post.  I was thinking today about a small, random event that nevertheless made me disproportionately happy.  This isn’t a list of more obvious things that make me happy – seeing my darling wife for lunch made me very happy, but then again it should, right?  Therefore, this post is for more uncommon things that give me much more joy than their happening would otherwise seem.